![]() |
|
GF18+ my heart is so full of you i can barely call it my own - Printable Version +- Vivarium (https://vivariumrpg.com) +-- Forum: Vivarium (https://vivariumrpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=3) +--- Forum: Smoldering Wastes (https://vivariumrpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=28) +--- Thread: GF18+ my heart is so full of you i can barely call it my own (/showthread.php?tid=12829) |
my heart is so full of you i can barely call it my own - Ochir - 7/20/2026 ranger 1/5 Parting from Batu was not necessarily something he wanted to do. To have been torn from all he cared about only to now wake in this world, and to somehow have been reunited with his blood? He did not know that he deserved it. And to be told that his wife was here - she was here - Ochir's lungs were burning as he ran the plains. He could smell the scent of horses but all that he really was focused on was Maral. She had been his guiding light for so long. All that he had been before, admittedly a bit of a womanizer who was self-centered, had changed once Maral had come into his life. He had been determined to make himself into a man worthy of her hand. Even now he wasn't sure he was - but he was self aware enough to know he could not stand the thought of anyone else near her. Especially now - they had been hoping for children. Was she well? Had she been feeding enough? Was that damned stallion keeping watch over her since Ochir had not been able to? Finally he came to a stop when he thought he caught a fresh trail of hers. Suddenly he was nervous, but he made himself not run. He would pace himself. He had to be able to at least catch his breath before she found him. RE: my heart is so full of you i can barely call it my own - Maral - 7/21/2026 The camp had long since settled into its evening rhythm. Smoke curled lazily from the cookfires, soft conversations drifted between the gers, and somewhere farther off, a foal protested bedtime with an indignant whinny that earned a chorus of patient nickers from its elders. Maral yawned. The day's journey had finally begun to settle into her bones, and the thought of curling beneath warm furs inside her ger sounded more appealing than anything else in the world. I think,she murmured to herself, I've earned an early night. Möngön walked faithfully beside her, his broad hooves thudding softly against the packed earth. When they reached her Ger, Maral turned toward its entrance. The stallion did not. Instead, his nose found her shoulder. Bump. Maral blinked. Möngön? Another nudge. Gentle. Insistent. She laughed quietly. I'm going inside. The great grey horse huffed through his nostrils and nudged her again, this time turning her just enough that she found herself facing away from the ger instead. ...You are impossible. Möngön bobbed his head once, then began walking. Maral sighed in exaggerated defeat before falling into step beside him. I know that look.He flicked an ear. You're pretending this is my idea.The stallion remained gloriously silent. Maral couldn't help but giggle. It's late.Another nudge. Möngön...A third. ...The stars are already coming out.He continued onward with all the confidence of a commander leading an important campaign. Maral shook her head, smiling despite herself. I don't know why I keep believing I'll win these arguments. She brushed lightly against his shoulder as they walked. You've become terribly spoiled. The stallion tossed his mane, looking entirely pleased with the accusation. I feed you...A nudge. I brush you...Another nudge. I even defended you when you bred one of the Khan's mares.A particularly smug snort answered her. And this is the thanks I receive? He bumped her shoulder once more. Maral laughed, the sound carried away by the cool evening breeze. Very well.She looked up at the moon beginning to rise above the endless steppe. A short walk.Maral smiled warmly at her oldest companion. But only because you're asking so nicely. Satisfied with his victory, Möngön continued leading her through the quiet camp, looking for all the world like an innocent horse enjoying an evening stroll. Only the occasional sideways flick of one ear betrayed that he was, in fact, making absolutely certain that one very determined wolf searching the camp for his bride would never happen upon Maral's trail quite so easily. Ochir RE: my heart is so full of you i can barely call it my own - Ochir - 7/23/2026 hunter 2/5 He trailed them. Through the camp, through the spaces that she'd clearly taken as her own, and even above the scent of the red flowers that tickled his hocks still, he smelled her. The last time her scent had been spiced with the fire - and he had been more than eager to let her burn him alive. Now it was softer, but still her, Maral. His Maral. The only equal of his heart. What he could smell as well was Möngön and Ochir was no fool. After the second place he had checked, he was more than certain that the damned beast was choosing to keep Maral miserable. What that stallion was doing surely he wasn't wanting to actually harm her - and yet the longer that Ochir trailed them, the more his own tail flicked in irritation. Angrily, he snorted, teeth flashing briefly before he reminded himself. There was no way that he could overpower the beast but all that he could think of was shoulder checking him right out of the way. Ears perked as he heard the lull of her voice - though it was not so close he could make out what she said. His tongue traced over his teeth as he considered his options. If he took off in another gallop, would that spurn Möngön into running? Would the horse turn to face him? Ochir could not beat him speed for speed, but Ochir would be able to keep his gait for much longer than the stallion could. Instead he lifted his head and he sang for her - and for her alone. Maral would hear him, and there was nothing that Möngön could do to prevent it. RE: my heart is so full of you i can barely call it my own - Maral - 7/23/2026 Maral followed where Möngön led without much thought. The camp slowly disappeared behind them, replaced by the endless whisper of the steppe beneath a rising moon. Before long, the familiar grasses gave way to patches of crimson flowers, their petals brushing softly against her paws as they swayed in the evening breeze. She slowed. Möngön...The stallion continued walking. Her brow furrowed. You've brought me awfully far.His ears flicked back toward her but he refused to answer in the only ways horses ever did. Maral sighed. I know you think you're clever.Another few paces. ...What are you doing?Something about his behavior had changed. He wasn't wandering. He was leading her somewhere. The realization settled uneasily in her chest. Möngön...Then— A voice. A song. It drifted across the sea of grass, carried effortlessly upon the evening wind. Her heart stopped. No… Every muscle in her body froze. The flowers around her blurred. She knew that voice. She had heard it in dreams. In lonely nights when grief became too heavy to bear. She had imagined it so many times that she no longer trusted herself. ...Ochir...The name escaped her as little more than a breath. Her ears strained desperately toward the melody. No... This couldn't be real. She stood perfectly still. Afraid. Afraid that if she moved, the illusion would shatter. Afraid that if she answered, only silence would answer back. Tears welled almost instantly. ...I'm hearing things again.Her voice trembled. I've finally gone mad...She lowered her head. I miss you too much... A warm pressure pressed gently beneath her jaw. Möngön. The stallion stepped quietly into her path. Before Maral could speak another word, Möngön lowered his great head, pressing the broad bridge of his muzzle gently beneath her chin. His touch was impossibly careful for a creature of his size, lifting her face until she was no longer staring helplessly at the ground. Toward the voice. Toward him. Maral blinked through tear-filled eyes. Möngön...?The stallion answered with another gentle push. Not enough to shove. Just enough to ask. She didn't move. Fear rooted her where she stood. If she walked forward and no one was there... If this was only another cruel trick her grieving heart had played... She couldn't survive losing him twice. Sensing her hesitation, Möngön huffed softly through his nostrils. Then, with all the patience in the world, he nudged her again. Forward. It was the same careful encouragement an old horse would give a newborn foal taking its very first steps—never forcing, only reassuring. Every nudge seemed to say the same thing. Because for Möngön, Maral IS his foal. Go on. I'm here. You won't fall. Her forepaw finally lifted. It landed clumsily. Another followed, uncertain and trembling. Maral stumbled, her balance falting beneath the weight of hope she scarcely dared to feel. Before she could lose it completely, Möngön was already there, his shoulder slipping gently against his foal's side to steady her. He kept pace with her hesitant movements, nudging her whenever she faltered, supporting her as he did the same days she learned how to stand. Gangly and awkward, but refusing to allow it to temper her spirit. One shaky step. After another. The song drifted across the crimson flowers once more. Closer, clearer. Her breath caught painfully in her throat. ...No...Another step, then another. The flowers parted. Moonlight spilled across familiar fur. A familiar silhouette. Broad shoulders she had leaned against beneath countless stars. A face she had memorized so completely that even time had failed to blur it. Her amber eyes widened. The world disappeared. Everything else—the wind, the flowers, the steppe itself—ceased to exist. Only he remained. Ochir... This time it wasn't a whisper. It escaped her like a prayer answered. Disbelief cracked. Hope rushed through the fractures. Then certainty flooded every corner of her heart. He was real. He was alive. Maral lurched forward, nearly tripping over her own paws as she broke into an uneven run. Once... twice... and then something inside her gave way. Her legs remembered how to fly. She tore across the sea of red flowers as though every lonely night, every tear she'd shed, every prayer she'd whispered beneath the endless sky had finally been answered. OCHIR! Behind her, Möngön remained exactly where he stood. The great grey stallion did not follow. He watched. Motionless. His ears pointed forward. His body squared. His dark eyes never left Ochir. There was no mistaking the look. No challenge, no greeting. Only a promise. A silent warning written so clearly that words were unnecessary. That he would be the reason for his second death if he hurt her again. Only after holding Ochir's gaze for one long, unblinking moment did Möngön snort quietly through his nostrils. The stallion never looked away as he watched his foal learn how to run again. Ochir RE: my heart is so full of you i can barely call it my own - Ochir - 7/28/2026 His heart was pounding faster than the sound of the herd's hooves. It was so loud it pounded in his ears, even then, they stayed poised and cupped towards the figures in the distance in the hopes that he might hear her responding to him. The song of his wife was the only thing he wanted to hear, and the longer it takes the more his heart sinks. What could he even say to bridge the chasm her pain has created in her? For Ochir, it had been mere moments. But this was a new world, a new place, a new life - and Maral had already mourned his. There was no part of him that was good enough to deserve this second life and second chance with her, but he knew that whether he was good enough or not, his Maral was. She deserved the life that they wanted to give their children, the ones he wanted so badly and the ones that he hoped looked just like her. The moments crept on and he whined not unlike a pup might who had been left alone for too long or had gotten misplaced in it's explorations. Her figure grew closer until he realized that she had heard and she flew to him, faster than the silver giant behind her with his clear-as-day message. Ochir would never give Möngön the satisfaction of killing him. Ochir would rather take his own life than bring pain to Maral again. Ochir immediately was in motion as well, and though he took effort not to collide with her he still embraced the feeling of her weight against his, allowing his limbs to become a tangle with hers as they both tumbled across the earth. It was a wonder he didn't break anything, but even if he had how could he notice when all his effort went into feeling each of the kisses he peppered across her face. Maral, my love - my life, my Erdene,He ended up hovering over her, eyes wet with tears. His tail whipped behind them, dusting the flowers that dotted the plains. Maral, it's real, we're here together!But he wasn't sure which of them he was trying to convince more, her or himself. RE: my heart is so full of you i can barely call it my own - Maral - 7/31/2026 ![]() Perhaps Ochir tried to soften the collision, tried to spare them both from the force of it—but she could not. She would not. She needed this. She needed to feel him. Just to make sure that he was real. Just to make sure that she was not going insane with grief even after Möngön had pushed her forward. The solid weight of his body crashed against hers, and the impact drove the breath from her lungs. They tumbled together into the crimson flowers, limbs tangled, petals scattering into the night air. She laughed. She sobbed. Both sounds escaped her at once. Her forelegs wrapped around him with desperate strength, holding him so tightly that she feared if she loosened her grip for even a heartbeat he would disappear again. Her face buried itself against his neck, breathing him in with frantic, uneven breaths. He smelled the same. The familiar scent of the wolf she'd loved since her first fire. Her husband. Warm tears soaked into his fur as they spilled endlessly from her eyes. They would not stop. They could not stop. Every lonely night, every prayer whispered beneath strange stars, every morning she'd awakened hoping this nightmare had ended—it all poured from her now. Her tail wagged wildly behind her, beating helplessly against the flowers. I'm so happy...she choked out between broken breaths. Ochir...She lifted her face just enough to look at him. Amber eyes searched every inch of him as if she needed to memorize him all over again. She traced his face with trembling paws, brushing across his cheeks, his brow, his jaw, reassuring herself that he was flesh and blood and not another cruel dream. You...Her voice cracked beneath another sob. You're really here...When he called her his love, his life, his Erdene, whatever remained of her composure finally shattered. She reached up and kissed him. Once, twice, again and again, each kiss lingering just a little longer than the last, as though she were trying to make up for every one they had been denied. I missed you,she whispered against his muzzle. Every day... every night... I missed you so much. Only then did she allow herself to ease back, though she never truly let go. One forepaw remained resting against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her pads. She needed that reassurance. Needed to know it wasn't about to stop. A watery laugh escaped her through her tears. You foolish man...She shook her head, smiling so brightly it almost hurt. You must never leave me again.The words carried no anger. Only love and relief. I cannot lose you twice. Her forehead rested gently against his own, her nose brushing his. I love you, Ochir.The confession came as easily as breathing. I have always loved you. I will always love you. And if the spirits ever think of taking you from me again...A soft laugh trembled through fresh tears. ...they will have to fight me first. Behind them, Möngön gave a single approving huff through his nostrils. The great grey stallion finally looked away. His foal had found her way home. Ochir RE: my heart is so full of you i can barely call it my own - Ochir - 8/1/2026 He had never heard something so beautiful until he had heard her laugh. It became his favorite thing immediately, like the colors of the sunset were his favorite of the sky. Which was appropriate, given that she was painted with the hues of the day as it faded into dusk. His favorite feeling was this where their bodies collided and he could feel her weight against his. They rolled, tumbled, gripped at each other frantically as petals and grass and the earth itself flew around them. The sounds that came from her might have been concerning if he didn't know. He knew her joy and her hurt equally, though he had mere seconds of finality to deal with before he had awoken in Mythris. He had not asked Batu how long it had been - and that was probably something they did need to discuss. Right then, he didn't care. Not if it was a minute, a month, a year - it was too long. And now he had to make up for every hour with a kiss. There was no part of her safe from his onslaught; his teeth worked through the fur of her neck, his nose teased through the silken strands of her fur to inhale her very essence. She was his, so much of his soul that without her he felt impossibly empty. He was hers, with every breath he took and every beat of his heart. He had been from the first time she'd rejected his teasing advances and proven that she was so much more than just a pretty face. Hadn't he just thought that her laughter was his favorite sound? Perhaps he was wrong, intoxicated on the flowers, on her - but the way she sounded saying his name. He might have melted. My heart,He cooed it out softly, nuzzling against her as she cried. The tears that fell from his cheeks were more quiet, but not from any lack of his own emotions. He just wanted to hear her. Her touch brought a soft sigh from his lips and his eyes only closed for a brief moment. He could not stand losing sight of her. We are here, together.Was his confident retort, because wasn't that the hardest part? They were together again. Finally at her tender kisses did his gasping cry escape his lips, tail traveling fast enough he might have taken flight. Erdene, my love - how....how long was it?And she would know exactly what he was asking about. He had been given seconds, and this day had been heavily emotional for him. But it was only hours. It was not how much she had endured. No, my dear, I will not leave you again. It's you and me. Us. Forever beneath the Eternal Sky together.He could not be parted from her - and perhaps it was overconfidence that made him think so. But had his soul not returned to chase hers immediately? His eyes closed as they were forehead to forehead, his star resting against hers. I am your fool, Maral, so long as you will have me.He promised as he kissed away her most recent tears. I love you, with everything I am, with all that I have, with everything I will ever come to be - it is yours, I am yours.He promised her urgently. And if they try to take me, I will claw my way back to you again.He would fight to stay with her, to keep her, to be worthy of her. He could pay no mind to the stallion, to the world, to anything that was not Maral. My heart and soul,He sighed it out before nuzzling against her again. Every world and every life, I belong to you. RE: my heart is so full of you i can barely call it my own - Maral - 8/1/2026 ![]() I do not know,she whispered. I do not know how long it has been. A watery laugh escaped her. Only...She opened her eyes to meet his once more. ...that it has been far too long.Her paw remained pressed over his heart, feeling every steady beat beneath her pads. It grounded her. Reassured her. He was here. I thought...Her voice wavered. I thought I would spend the rest of my days missing you. She smiled despite the fresh tears gathering in her eyes. I had begun to believe that grief would simply become another companion beside me.She shook her head, overwhelmed by the impossible miracle before her. But now...Her tail swept joyfully through the crimson flowers. My heart feels so full that I think it might burst. A soft laugh escaped her. You are here.She leaned forward to brush her nose lovingly against his. You came back to me.When he called himself her fool, Maral's expression softened into something infinitely tender. MY fool,she corrected gently. Her nose bumped his playfully. No one else's.She smiled, brighter than the moon above them. And I shall keep you for as long as you wish to be kept. Her ears relaxed as another thought, bittersweet but important, found its way to her lips. There is... something I must tell you.Her gaze lowered for only a moment. After you...Her voice caught. after I lost you...She drew a careful breath. I lost our children too.The words hurt, but not as sharply as they once had. The grief...she whispered. It was so great that the spirits left my womb before they could ever see the sky. Her eyes glistened again. I mourned all of you together.For a moment she simply held him, allowing the silence to speak for her, then, slowly, hope returned to her smile. I am so sorry my love…I have failed you. But...she murmured, lifting her eyes back to his. We can try again.A shy warmth colored her expression. My fire time will be here soon.She rested her forehead against his once more. Perhaps... beneath this new Eternal Sky...Her smile trembled with hope. ...we can ask those little spirits to find us again.She laughed softly through her tears. They may have lost their way before. Her tail wagged once behind her. But perhaps they will recognize us this time.She kissed his cheek, lingering there for a heartbeat. I would love them just the same. And they would have the finest father I have ever known. The thought brought another genuine smile to her face. Oh!she said suddenly, as though remembering something important. There is someone I want you to meet later on, once we return to our Ger..Her expression brightened. His name is Yelp.She chuckled quietly. I found him while exploring the land beyond our home. He had awakened in these strange lands all alone.Her smile became fond. He is grown in body...but still very much a boy in his mind.She remembered his sore paws, his endless questions, the way he puffed out his chest despite being exhausted. He tries so very hard to appear capable, but no one ever taught him how.Her ears lowered sympathetically. I think his parents loved him dearly...but they did not prepare him for the world. They failed him in that regard. She looked back at Ochir. He has comforted me more than he knows. Having someone to care for...she admitted quietly, Gave me direction when I believed I had lost everything.Her tail swept the flowers again. I think he would do well with both of us.A playful smile returned to her muzzle. He is going to need someone to teach him how to survive these plains.She nudged Ochir's shoulder affectionately. And I happen to know a rather handsome hunter who has always been very patient.Her eyes sparkled. I think he would make an excellent teacher. It would be very good practice for when it’s time for his cubs to learn the same things someday soon. Then, without another word, she leaned into him once more, content simply to listen to the beat of his heart beneath the endless sky. Ochir RE: my heart is so full of you i can barely call it my own - Ochir - 8/2/2026 ![]() His heart was pounding as strongly as the hoofbeats of the Great Herd itself, something she surely would have felt through the pressure of her paw against his chest. She did not know how long it had been, and at first that felt like such a blessing. Perhaps things had not been so long, and maybe it didn't even matter. But then she continued, and he leaned down further to add to the pressure against her paw to give her comfort. His smile faltered to hear how she had suffered. He had left her, even if not by his own will, because it had been a choice and an honor to fight in her name and for their future. But by the same measure, he had chosen to return to her, and maybe in this world they would be finally afforded peace. Batu had not mentioned further conflicts here, but, his kin had been kind and offered to step aside and let him find his bride. I am here,He echoed and nodded. I came back to you - I am yours. Forever, for always, should he be so very lucky. Hmm?He stopped reaching down to kiss her face, pulling back only enough that he could see her face and watch the shift of her speech and her emotions. It had been long enough for her to lose them all, and he whined softly as she whispered to him of their loss. A loss that, until now, she had endured alone. That meant at least weeks - weeks she might have known she was pregnant, or perhaps if by some grace she had only just known, that might make it easier for her. He let out a little choked sound, his face crumbling a bit. My heart, I am so sorry I was not here.He said it softly, his voice heavily laden with his sorrow. You have failed no one.He did not want her to think that it was her fault, and he refused to have her think such a thing, and his voice was more stern then. Her gaze returned to his and he let out a soft sound before he moved to press his forehead to hers again. When you are ready, my love, I will be too.Even if he would mourn these babies, he would honor them too, but he could not deny her nor his own desires. Maral my love, no doubt your soul shines brightly enough to guide them home just as you guided me.He kissed her forehead and let out a soft sound before a gentle smile grew on her face when she kissed his cheek. The finest father? Careful now, lest my head grow so heavy I cannot lift it off the ground.A testament to his nature, he made a sound as he suddenly fell facefirst to the earth next to her. He only lifted his head to see her when she mentioned someone at their Ger. His head cocked to the side before she mentioned Yelp and explained he had been alone when he woke. How fortunate was he that his cousin had come across him - what if he had to wander alone, what if it took him even longer to find Maral? Despite her description and the fact that she'd had an unknown male beside her, he could not begrudge her kind heart. Batu had to know, as well, about Yelp - and that would be enough to at least make it so that Ochir was not immediately on edge. Of course you found him.He said with a breathy laugh - Maral was giving, and it was entirely in her nature that she would find those that were in need. He was quiet as she explained more about him and what he might need from them both. Oh do you?Ochir asked curiously when she mentioned being aware of some handsome hunter who was patient, who she thought would make for a good teacher, someone she had entirely too much faith in it seemed. Best not let him find you here, then, curled in the embrace of such a troublemaker.Came the tease of his reply before he hooked an arm around her shoulders to hold her close when she leaned into him. The most fortunate of troublemakers.Who would never forget the blessings he had been given. Not only once, but now twice, to be in Maral's presence. |